Maybe I’m Doing Something Wrong
Or…maybe this is what raising boys is like. But, DUDE, either way, it sucks. And it’s awesome. But it sucks.
First and foremost, in the event that you weren’t already aware, I (proudly) consider myself a feminist. As in the “Ladies with vaginas can do whatever men with penis’ can do” kinda way, not the “Down with men” kinda way. Not that that second kinda way is AT ALL what feminism is about, but there are some people who would like to lead you to believe that. And that’s just not right.
But, I digress. First off, it’s become painfully obvious that I need to introduce Dylan to the world of feminism. In the past week I’ve been told that “Girls can’t drive tractors” and that “Girls can’t throw a football.” AS IF. Clearly I have some work to do here. Momma ain’t gonna raise no backwards thinkin’ boy. Even if Momma uses bad grammar.
Second, he totally kicked his little brother’s ass last night. ON PURPOSE. Zach had pulled himself up so that he was standing at the edge of the (kid sized) recliner that Dylan was sitting in. And what does Dylan do? He takes his foot and shoves it into Zach, which causes Zach to careen backwards and end up laid out flat on the living room floor, crying. Dylan’s response? At first, sheer terror at what he’d done and what my reaction would be. Then he tried to explain himself. His explanation as to why he did it was because “He was reachin’ for my drink.” Oh, well in THAT case. Please, continue to kick your little brother to the floor whenever you so desire. I’m sure his 10 month old self totally deserves it. TOTALLY.
As for Zach? He survived, although he’s once again terrified of heights and no longer enjoys being lifted up in the air above my head, which is usually one of his favorite things. The poor little guy’s eyes get as big as saucers and he starts to make this high pitched shrieky noise as he desperately tries to grab some part of me to hold on to with a kung-fu death grip. It’s sad. And a little amusing, which is why I keep doing it.
I suppose I need to get used to them beating up on each other. And if Zach weren’t still a baby, I’d probably care a little less. Although, kicking and punching will certainly be something that will never be allowed. Like that’s going to keep it from happening.
So…what are you sibling rivalry tales and what do you do to solve the issues? I’m going to need some help in the future.
Related posts:
Andrea's Sweet Life on 24 Jun 2008 at 3:56 pm #
I’ve got two girls, and my oldest is constantly being a little *too* affectionate to the 13 month old (who is not yet walking). She practically smothers her, lays on top of her, whatever, all in the name of “hugging”. The little one has learned that when her sister comes near, she should start flailing her arms because hitting her in the face WORKS. I still don’t know what to do about it.
Also? My comments here and on AM only show up about 5% of the time. Any suggestions?
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Angie @ Keep Believing on 24 Jun 2008 at 3:57 pm #
How about…
‘I wasn’t trying to strangle him. I just had my hands around his neck really tight squeezing because he WAS WATCHING ME PLAY NINTENDO AND HE MADE ME DIE!’
- Yes way!
KEEP BELIEVING
Angie @ Keep Believings last blog post..How to Inefficiently wash a mini-van in suburbia.*
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Jess on 24 Jun 2008 at 3:57 pm #
I don’t know what it is with boys!! mine are like that too. I have quite an age gap between them. The oldest is 11 1/2 and youngest is 5 3/4 (have to say 3/4 or he gets whiney about it) 11 year old is tall and skinny. % year old is a solid sotcky lil thing. Unfortunatley the lil one tends to beat the bigger one up more then the other way around.
But one night my oldest had reached his limit and decided it was a good idea to punch his brother in the chest…while holding a tube of toothpaste…and his little brother was standing on a stool…next to the steel tub. You can see where this was going. The reason behind it. “I was ‘handing him’ the toothpaste.”
I think it’s that extra chromosome or something. Not I have to give my older one credit he thinks women can do anything they want. The little one…not so much.
Jesss last blog post..RIP George Carlin May 12 1937 – June 22 2008
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Meghan on 24 Jun 2008 at 4:16 pm #
Andrea-
I think Zach is going to have to learn to defend himself pretty quickly! My sweet, mellow little boy is going to have to take some baby self defense courses.
As for your comments, I have two thoughts: One is that I have comment moderation on for first time commentors, which may explain why they didn’t show up AT FIRST. And, my comment spam filter has been pretty tough lately and I just found a few non-spam comments lurking in there…so, hopefully they’ll show up from now on! Sorry and thanks for sticking with me & AM!
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Madge on 24 Jun 2008 at 5:09 pm #
It’s hard-wired into them to believe that girls can’t do the same things as boys. I think part of it is figuring out othe different — not that that matters. it’s frustrating.
also, with the kicking the little one. don’t worry. he’ll get back at him. he’s going to be way tougher than his big brother. my little one kick’s his big brothers butt every day.
Madges last blog post..The Vacuum
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christy on 24 Jun 2008 at 5:28 pm #
I am lucky, because Porgie is never aggressive with Izzy. That will probably change in a few more months, and I’ll be asking you for advice.
christys last blog post..Spending money like it’s nobody’s business
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HRH on 24 Jun 2008 at 7:57 pm #
That is the sweetest picture. I can only warn you that it does just keep going in that direction. The direction that requires a referee.
Just wait until the “girls are yucky” stage. To which I reply like 70 times a day, “but mommy is a girl and you like me” to which they roll their eyes and continue the bashing. Hello?!
HRHs last blog post..Oh THIS is why we have a dog…
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Headless Mom on 24 Jun 2008 at 8:05 pm #
My hellions are 6 & 8- Oh the joys you have in store!!
I have no advice-just here to commiserate.
Headless Moms last blog post..My First Giveaway!
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anymommy on 24 Jun 2008 at 8:38 pm #
I don’t have anything profound either. My two toddlers are really mean to each other at times and they already say sorry in the most perfunctory, sarcastic tone. Where do they learn that? (hides head in shame.)
anymommys last blog post..My baby is covered in urine, but I’m not a Freaker-Outer
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JCK on 24 Jun 2008 at 8:44 pm #
My girl has a mean hook, too. Siblings at their best. Mine are a little older than yours, but I usually put the pusher/hitter in time out and/or take away a priviledge.
JCKs last blog post..We regret we are unable to publish it…
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Cathy on 24 Jun 2008 at 9:08 pm #
Quinn tried to take something away from Liam today (Liam’s the “baby) – and Liam kind of h uffed and puffed and pulled it right back. So yeah, Zach will probably learn pretty quickly how to fend for himself. Of course, I was there telling Quinn to let Liam keep it. Don’t remember what IT was, but IT must have been pretty cool.
Cathys last blog post..The goslings are crying…
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Jennifer H on 24 Jun 2008 at 10:11 pm #
My girl is the one who is aggressive. And we’ve raised our son to know it’s wrong to hit girls (especially). Which leaves him kind of stuck, since he’s so sweet-tempered. If he does get back at her one day, she’d better be a fast runner.
Good luck! No advice, just good luck.
Jennifer Hs last blog post..Buddy
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Jill on 24 Jun 2008 at 10:29 pm #
I have 2 little girlies… and they are JUST as good / bad as boys. They both love each other… and bicker like cats and dogs. They can be sweet as pie one minute and then turn on a dime and push, shove, hit, scream, and be as mean as can be to each other.
It drives me to drink. A lot.
Jills last blog post..Miss June 2008
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Z on 25 Jun 2008 at 4:00 am #
Ditto with the wishes of good luck (and having no real advice) – I’d agree that some boyish squabbles are absolutely going to occur, but that a line needs to be drawn between, say, friendly wrestling and, oh, hitting and kicking… I’ve just got no advice for helping you with this
Zs last blog post..shhhhhhh…
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Bobbi Rightmyer on 25 Jun 2008 at 8:42 am #
Cute photos! I found your blog thru the ladies at AllMediocre.
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Grandmaother on 25 Jun 2008 at 11:29 am #
My younger daughter gave my older daughter a run for her money – but they survived it and are friends today – and they both turned out pretty well.
No advise, you just try to see that no one gets hurt.
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mamagingertree on 25 Jun 2008 at 11:50 am #
I don’t have any sage advice. I christened this “the summer I conquer sibling rivalry” as it has a reached a fever pitch in my house. My first step has been to read “Siblings Without Rivalry” (Faber & Mazlish). I am only on page 10, so can’t really give a summary, but it’s good so far.
Gotta go break up a fight…
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Chubby Mom on 25 Jun 2008 at 2:06 pm #
I have the exact OPPOSITE problem…as in my younger child beats up my older one. Yes, my three-year-old whups my eight-year-old’s behind. The Eldest Child tends toward bossy and controlling (a trait his bio-mother will admit is from her) and MiniMe is, well, like me…he can’t stand to be told what to do. It leads to loads of fun around here (both with the kids and their respective mothers).
The other day I got fed up and told The Eldest Child that next time just to hit MiniMe back. His face lit up like I’d just told him it was Christmas in June. I knew he wouldn’t ever, and he hasn’t yet, but I was at my tattle-tale threshold with him. My two-year-old nephew will bring the smackdown on MiniMe and in some ways, I think it’s good for him.
I wish I had the easy answer. MiniMe currently wants a game that he knows he has to earn by being nice to The Eldest Child. So far, zero progress.
My mantra lately has been that this too shall pass. I say it more often than I’d like to admit.
Chubby Moms last blog post..The end is near
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Danielle on 10 Jul 2008 at 8:11 am #
Still, I’m way behind here, but the other day I heard some very muffled crying. All I saw was Grant laying on a bean bag chair.
Then I saw Cannon’s two little feet underneath it wiggling around like crazy.
Grant looked quite pleased with himself, until I beat him silly. (kidding about the beating)
That has been the worst. (I don’t think he could really breathe under there).
And Grant (he’s almost four) has declared at the dinner table before that he would not tell me about his day at school because I was a girl. He would only talk to Daddy. I asked Cannon how is day was and Grant said “Don’t talk to her. She’s a girl. Only talk to boys.”
I am not feminist. At all. I looked at the heavens and said “Ah! Peace on Earth! No one is talking to me! Hurray!”
Unfortunately, I didn’t last nearly long enough….
Danielles last blog post..Punch Buggy Annoy-Olymp-a-thon
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