Kid update first: Zach has a double ear infection and Dylan has an ear infection on his left side and BRONCHITIS.  That’s right, BRONCHITIS.  So they’re on heavy doses of antibiotics and I’m desperately hoping that they’ll kick in big time by tonight so I can get a decent night’s sleep tonight.  Oh, and so that they feel better.  That too.  Totally. 

Onto the topic of the day…and if you’re someone who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about blogging, or the “business” of blogging, or the blogging community, you can pretty much just stop reading, because you’re probably not going to care AT ALL about what I write below! 

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There’s been some chatter recently about traffic counts, subscriber numbers, reader engagement, etc.  Jennifer’s most recent blog school post touched on the fact that she believes you should post your subscriber count on your blog, regardless of how “meager” the number seems.   Being someone who will do anything Jennifer tells me, I did just that.  It’s over there on the left.  At the bottom.  At this moment, my subscriber count is 54.  Which is up 13 from last week when I posted that I’d lost a few readers.  So, good, right?  I’m TOTALLY happy with my 54 readers.    

But, but, you might be thinking, 54 seems so PALTRY.  Especially compared the the numbers you see on other’s sites…Jennifer has 646.  Megan has 424.  Jenny has 448. Dooce has eleventy-billion.  Or something like that.  But to me, 54 is awesome.  Stupendous.  Fantastic.  It means that there are 54 people out there who give a shit what I have to say.  There are 54 people out there who, theoretically, make a point to read what I write.  And of those 54, somewhere’s in the neighborhood of 30 to 50% of them leave a comment on a regular basis.  Them’s some pretty good numbers, if you ask me.  Which you didn’t, but I’m telling you anyway.

Rebecca posted recently about this and asked us to comment on what we were more interested in, higher subscriber numbers, ”quantity”, or reader engagement by way of comments.  I think, for all of us, the answer is a resounding BOTH, please.  But since that’s not really possible, I’ll take engagement any day.  While I’d love to see my subscriber numbers increase to 100, 200 or 500 (especially when I get my BlogHer ads up and running!) I know that I’d never be able to keep my comment ratio where it is now.   I love getting comments from people that I’ve been able to build a relationship with.  I love hearing from new people and being able to check out their blogs.  I love knowing that Holly is going to leave a quick, funny comment, and that Angie is going to make a sarcastic remark about my world views…that Z never fails to tell me how cute my kids are, or that I need a drink (and she’s always right!). 

I love that I’ve been able to develop friendships, albeit via email, with so many awesome people.  I feel like I actually KNOW most of my readers and that I actually LIKE them most of the time.  I love knowing that at BlogHer next week (NEXT WEEK!) I won’t feel like a dork who doesn’t know anyone because I already DO know so many of you.  I won’t feel like I’m not one of the “cool” kids because I don’t have 400+ subscribers or 40+ comments per post, or because I’m not on Alltop.  I’m proud of my “mediocre” status and I wouldn’t really have it any other way. 

The blogging community has been compared to High School and leaves a lot of people feeling as if they’re not a part of the “cool” kids group.  Like they’re stuck going to the prom with their brother because no one would DARE ask them out on a date.  Bejewell just wrote a post about it that’s received a lot of attention.  She talks of missing out on BlogHer and how she feels like she did in High School.  Like she desperately wants to hang with the “cool” kids but just isn’t “cool” enough because she’s a little blog.  She normally doesn’t get a lot of comments (save for that post!) and she feels like that would lead to her being excluded from hanging with the “big dogs.”  Even Stefanie is nervous about not having anyone to hang out with.  And she’s, like, a published AUTHOR and famous COMEDIAN who has a respectable reader base and consistently decent comment count.  

But I think that’s all a misconception.  There’s a nice sense of community among bloggers.  There’s a sense of camaraderie.  Even a so-called “Big Blogger” will take the time to comment, thoughtfully even, on a new blog.  Maybe not every post, every time, but even a little ‘ole blogger like me doesn’t have the time to keep up with EVERYONE.  I wish I did.  Desperately, even, but it’s just not possible.  Do I think BlogHer going to be one big girl Blogger Orgy?  A Blogger Love-Fest?  No (but that would be AWESOME).  I’m sure there are going to be “clicks” and there’s going to be pettyness, HELLO, it’s a bunch of WOMEN getting together.  What else do you expect?! 

BUT, I also think it’s going to re-affirm that we’re all in this together.  We all do this because we want to be a part of a larger community.  We all want to hear what each other has to say, whether it’s about being a mom, wife, food lover, travel guru, dad, photographer, aunt, friend or cancer survivor.  We all want to get affirmation from others like us.  We all want a firm kick in the pants when we know we need one, but aren’t quite bendy enough to give it to ourselves.  Our blogger “friends” do that for us. 

It’s not about being “popular” or “the best” or “on top,” it’s about being a part of the bigger picture.  A part of a larger community.  A part of something that accepts you no matter what.  Big ass, bad hair, foul mouth, poor fashion sense, messy house.  We’re all well past high school.  We’ve been there, done that.  We’ve shunned and been shunned for stupid, petty shit.  We’ve fought, cried and felt unworthy.  Now it’s time to embrace who we’ve become, to honor what makes us unique.  And to celebrate that same uniqueness in others.  (And I get that ”same uniqueness” is an oxymoron, but you get what I’m mean) 

I’ll smile every time I see my subscriber count increase, and I’ll jump and spin and dance around like a fool every time someone new comments, but I’m not going to start a “subscribe to my blog” campaign.  I’m going to be happy with what I’ve got and continue to be proud of most of the things I write.  And most of all, I’m going to enjoy getting to know all of you a little better, a little at a time. 

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