HI!  Did y’all miss me!?  I KNOW you’re anxiously awaiting the recount of my trip.  But you’re just going to have to wait a bit longer, because honestly?  I’m fucking exhausted and still haven’t fully processed it.  Plus, I have 400 pictures to look through and edit before I can even THINK about writing about it.  So, give me some time.  By Thursday, I promise.  In the meantime, I figured I’d tell you a little story and give you yet ANOTHER reason to make fun of me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There’s a blueberry farm just off the highway near where we live.  It’s only been open a year or two and it’s one of those pick your own places.  We’ve never been because I’m not much of a blueberry fan and the boys, who ARE blueberry fans, haven’t been big enough yet to pick their own blueberries without making it a nightmare experience for me.

But this year, the MOMs Club planned a trip to the blueberry farm for some good ole’ fashioned berry picking.  And we were going to go.  Until it was cancelled due to an unexpected early end to blueberry season.  Bummer, right?

Anyway, I was surprised at all the post season activity that goes into growing blueberries.  I mean, EVERY TIME we drive by there’s a person in a while suit (working with pesticides, I assume) working in the fields.

Me, Day 1:  There’s someone working in the blueberry fields today.  Interesting get-up, must be spraying the plants.

Me, Day 2:  There’s that blueberry field worker again.

Me, Day 3:  Dammit, my coffee’s cold.

Me, Day 4:  Oh!  The blueberry field worker is still at it.  That sure is a lot of pesticide.

Me, Day 5:  Wow.  I’m totally NEVER picking berries there.  They must be LOADED with chemicals.

Me, Day 6: Seriously?!  STILL with the spraying?  Are blueberries a magnet for bugs?  Are they THAT susceptible to infestations or disease?  The season’s OVER.  How much freakin’ attention can they really need?

Me, Day 7:  HOLY CRAP!  He’s STILL there!  That’s just…weird.

Md, Day 8: Oh shit!  What the hell’s wrong with the worker guy?  He looks…odd.  It looks like his head is missing!?  WTF?!

**Lightbulb**  It’s a scarecrow you fucking moron…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I WISH I had made this up.  Really, I do.  Because who sees a person, in an odd outfit in the middle of a fucking FARM, for 8 STRAIGHT days and doesn’t realize it’s NOT a person?  Someone of diminished mental capacity, I’m afraid.  And apparently, that person would be me.  Please send help.  And liquor.

  • Share/Save/Bookmark

Related posts:

  1. Tomorrow
  2. DJ’s Rebuttal
  3. This Is Your Brain On Crack
  4. A Letter to the Caregivers
  5. I Have A New Girl Crush…