AMomTwoBoys

I thought about doing this a few weeks ago, but never did.  But then I figured since most people will feel compelled to write the obligatory Thanksgiving post today or tomorrow, that I’d offer up my space for you to tell us what you’re REALLY thinking.

You know, the stuff you aren’t comfortable talking about on your own blog, or really, anything else.  So, feel free to hijack the comments.  Anything goes.  Well, almost anything.  I have final say on what’s appropriate or not.  You know, nothing mean or nasty.  But you wouldn’t do that anyway, now would you?

SO?  Tell us what’s on your mind…and fell free to respond to someone else’s comment…

*Photo from Flickr*

I had a…Doctor’s appointment last week.  It was just my annual (hi Dad!) but all day I referred to it as my OB appointment.  I may have given a few people mild heart attacks.  My apologies.  But, in my defense, I’ve been to WAY more OB appointments in the past few years than I’ve been to Gyno appointments. So my confusion is justified.

Plus, I’m fairly certain I’m losing my mind.  Completely.

You see, lately, the right words fail me.  I can’t ever think of what I want to say.  And not fancy words, just regular every day words like breakfast or kerfluffle.  The word I want is on the tip of my tongue, but I just…can’t…figure….out…what…it…is.  It’s probably painful to have a conversation with me.

Or, OR, I just use the completely wrong word in it’s place.  Like when I was talking to my friend, who’s daughter’s name is Eva (which I’d just said in the course of the conversation) and I was saying something about our other friend’s daughter and I called her Ava.  I KNEW it wasn’t right, but out it flew.  Kind of like the whole Cartoid artery thing, but on a regular basis.

And, I’ve been having REALLY weird dreams lately.  Like last night, I was on a boat and we were catching fish.  But not fish that exist in real life.  They were all kinds of funky, and I was the ONLY one who thought it was odd.  And then, we were suddenly at a fancy dinner.  And a bunch of my friends from high school were there and, for some reason, some of them had borrowed clothes from a college’s theatre department and they were responsible for returning the clothes in pristine condition.

Well, much to my dismay, Karl Rove was at this dinner as well.  And he pissed me off (that part’s not weird) and I threw a glass of red wine in his face (it was awesome!).  BUT, some of it splashed onto my friend Abby (go watch that video…she’s amazing) and so I was frantically trying to clean her sweater off, all the while lamenting the fact that I’d wasted a good glass of wine on the likes of him.

Totally normal, right?

Which brings me back to why it’s funny that I kept calling my appointment my OB appointment.  The weird dreams.  When you’re pregnant.  If you’ve been pregnant, you KNOW what I’m talking about. Full circle, people.  We’re coming full circle.

But I’m not pregnant.  So I’m trying to figure out what I can blame my current and sudden insanity on.  Stress?  Lack of sleep?

Probably nothing, because it’s just typically me, so why try to blame it on something?

And now I’m pretty certain that the family member’s we’re spending Thanksgiving with are going to plan on drinking a little bit more that day.  You know, to deal with me and avoid any potential kerfluffle.

***And in case you’re wondering, there’s absolutely NO point to this post.  That’s kind of the point.***

Today’s my Blogoversary!  And I totally planned on doing a little quiz type thing and then giving a little something away, but I don’t have anything AWESOME to offer as a prize, and I have a headache, so coming up with the quiz would suck.  WAY too much brain power would be required for that one.

SO, the quiz is going to have to wait for my 30th Birthday post next month (start thinking about what you want to get me…).  That will give me plenty of time to hit up some people to gather some prize items.  How awesome am I?!  I’m going to give something away for MY birthday!  I know, I know.

I really don’t have anything else to say, so I thought I’d share some images I found when I googled “Blogoversary”…along with my commentary.   Enjoy:

Blogoversary PAR-TAY!!!!!

Too much Blogoversary PAR-TAY!!!

Recovering from the Blogoversary PAR-TAY!!!

WTF happened during the Blogoversary PAR-TAY??!!

Why was Ashley Judd half naked at the Blogoversary PAR-TAY??!!

AAAAAAWWWWWWW….

AAKKK!  What the hell is he doing here?

And it’s my FIRST Blogoversary, not third!

Okay, there.  That’s better.

Aw, gee, you too?!  Thanks, Michelle!

Thanks for sticking with me for the past year!  You’re the BEST!!!

*Photo courtesy of Google Images*

I’ve been thoroughly annoyed lately with all the negativity floating around the blogosphere.  It seems like everywhere I turn, there’s some negative post, comment, email or tweet being sent about someone or something.  And it’s seriously starting to piss me off.

There are fights between bloggers, fights about bloggers, bitchy, snarky, passive-aggressive, unnecessary comments being made and emails being sent.  It’s all driving me a little insane.

I mean, really.  If you don’t like what someone has to say, can you not just leave it alone?  Do you really have to leave a nasty comment, or send a mean email about it?  Just don’t read it anymore!  There!  Problem solved!

LET IT GO, people.  MOVE ON.  There’s too much IMPORTANT shit to worry about in life.

To top it all off, I found out recently that I was targeted on a hater blog.  It was called something along the lines of The Purple Violin, or The Purple Recorder or The Purple People Eater.  (BTW, I totally know the real name I just don’t want to use it)  The site’s been taken down, so I can’t link to it.  But even if I could, I wouldn’t.  The last thing I want to do is give them any recognition.

~~~

In case you don’t know what a hater blog is, let me explain:

There are people out there who are too lonely, sad and bitter to have their own life, so they start a blog where they spend their time talking trash about other people.  Sounds like fun, right?  But the best part is that they’re too chicken shit to do it in person, so they do it anonymously.  They’re real winners.

~~~

Now, let me clear this up.  The fact that I was mentioned in a hater blog is THRILLING to me.  I mean, I’ve been feeling left out because no anonymous whack jobs thought I was important enough to be mean to!  I get a little giddy just thinking about it.  AND, I was mentioned in the same sentence as Queen of Spain, who, if you ask me, is GREAT company to keep.  What they said about me was not anything that hurt my feelings, made me feel like a bad person, or a bad mother, which is what (I think) they were going for.  So they failed in whatever their goal was.  Because I’m ASSUMING they weren’t trying to up my page views and therefore add to my advertising revenue.  But that’s TOTALLY what they accomplished!  So, yay for me.

BUT, and this is a big BUT, what they said about other bloggers was DESPICABLE. DEPLORABLE. DISGUSTING. UNACCEPTABLE.

To the Hater Blog Writer(s):

If you’re such a pathetic person(s) that you have nothing better to do with your time than talk shit about grown people you’ve never met, that’s one thing.  But to then turn it around and use their deceased children as ammunition is so incredibly fucked up, I don’t even have words for it.  The fact that people like you exist in this world, and are able to walk around and put on a front, is unbelievable to me.  The sentence “I’m a Pathetic Asshole” should be tattooed to your forehead so that everyone can see you for who/what you really are.

But you’re too much of a pussy to let anyone know who you are.  That’s why you’re anonymous, remember?  So feel free to continue to hide behind your computer screen.  Just know that the Universe is bigger than you and Karma is a powerful thing.  And it WILL catch up with you eventually.  Good luck when that happens.

Oh, and in the mean time, get a life.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Because I just stooped to their level and talked trash (YES, I totally see the irony, thank you very much) I’m going to end this post on a totally unrelated note!  Yay for you!

Tomorrow’s my BLOGOVERSARY!  How exciting, right?!  I’ve got a fun little quiz/giveaway planned.  Now you’re even more excited!  Yay!

AND, we’re giving away TWO $15 gift certificates for Butterball Turkey’s over at Hot Mom Reviews.  Head over and enter to win!  Contest ends tomorrow night…good luck!

It’s finally happened!  I’ve finally come up with the invention that’s going to make me a bazillionaire.  You know, like the inventors of the ShamWow, the Sonic Scrubber or the Magic Bullet.

I know what you’re thinking, and you don’t have to worry, when I’m a bazillionaire I’ll still blog.  I’ll just do it while I’m lounging in the pool at my mansion, drinking a mojito and contemplating what charity I’ll donate to next.  HOW will I manage to blog while IN the pool, you ask?  I have two ideas:  I’ll be able to afford some new-fangled piece of technology that will type what I say, while also adding in all the necessary CAPS and italics -OR- I’ll just hire somebody to follow me around and THEY can type what I tell them.  Awesome, right?

But, I digress.  I’m sure you’re all totally curious about The Kid Occupier 2000.  So, without further ado, here’s my idea muy fabulosa:

The Kid Occupier 2000 was designed as an easy, cost effective way to keep kids AND dogs happy and occupied for hours.  This will leave you free to watch TV, blog, tweet, find old boyfriends on Facebook, write a hater blog… you know, all the important stuff in life.

All you need to take full advantage of The Kid Occupier 2000 is:

• A Kid.  Preferably of the toddler variety.
• A Dog.  Preferably of the “too stupid to be food aggressive” variety*
• Dog food.
• An easily accessible location to house said dog’s food, that’s not TOO close to said dog’s food bowl.
• An easily navigable path between food storage location and food consumption location.
• $39.95**

Here’s how The Kid Occupier 2000 works:

Photo Sharing – Video Sharing – Photo Printing – Photo Books
*Legal Disclaimer: You really ABSOLUTELY need a non-food aggressive dog.  Otherwise, The Kid Occupier 2000 could turn into The Kid Maimer 2000 and no one wants that.  Especially me, because lawyer fees could REALLY cut into my bazillions.

**I’m going to start charging $39.95 to view this post in the coming weeks.  As my lovely, loyal readers, you get a FREE sneak peek.  All I ask in return is a Stumble, or a review on your review site, or mention it to your many friends.  Since I’m not currently a bazillionaire, I’m going to have to rely on grassroots social media marketing efforts.

***You’re TOTALLY welcome for this sneak peek.

****My much anticipated Hater Blog expose will come next.  I promise.

*****In light of my current video fetish, if you’re a PR person who would like to send me a video camera to review for Hot Mom Reviews, that’d be awesome.

******Coming soon!  The Kid Pisser-Offer XTreme

Remember the other day…I said I was going to share video of the boys, but couldn’t because my computer power cord died and the battery was running low and blah, blah, blah and you were all “OH NOES!  How could we possibly survive without you for a few days, let alone without being able to see boring ridiculous videos of your adorable children?!”

Well, have no fear, dear readers.  My replacement power cord has arrived and I’m prepared to overload you with videos.  You don’t need to thank me.  And while some of you had the audacity to disagree that they’re the world’s cutest children occassionally, I’m pretty sure you were just covering your tracks on the off chance that one day your children will find my blog and you simply don’t want them to know the truth.  I totally get it.  Your secret is safe with me…

So, the big news around here is that Zach is walking.  Just in the past week or so, he’s mastered the art and is a walking fool.  It’s preshus.

This is what it looked like a week and a half ago:

Photo Sharing – Video Sharing – Photo Printing – Photo Books
And this is what it looks like now:

Photo Sharing – Video Sharing – Photo Printing – Photo Books
He can even step over stuff AND carry his cup! Isn’t he ridiculously talented?

He’s also quite a talented dancer. And seeing as Dylan has been working on honing his singing skills, they make quite a pair:

Photo Sharing – Video Sharing – Photo Printing – Photo Books

Now, Dylan singing around US is not a big deal, but he’s always been pretty shy and has refused to sing around other people. Until recently. Lately, he’s been singing EVERYWHERE, including at Home Depot where he stood on the front of the cart and sang to everyone who walked by. According to his teacher he’s also finally started singing songs at school.  He’s coming out of his shell.  And, practicing his ventriloquist skills in the process:

Photo Sharing – Video Sharing – Photo Printing – Photo Books
I’m honestly in awe at how much they’ve each changed in the past few weeks.  It makes me terrified about what the next few YEARS will be like.  Oy.

*And I also realize that this post is really geared to people who know me in real life.  SO, for the rest of you, I’ll give you a sneak peek into my upcoming post:  “Hater Blogs, WTF Is Wrong With People?” Now I KNOW you’re excited.

I was going to post today…REALLY, I was!  But, now my computer’s power supply is dead, my battery’s about to die and it’s just not going to happen!

It was going to go something like this:

• Zach is walking!  (Insert Video)
• Dylan is singing! (Insert Video)
• It’s like I have two brand new children!

But, you’re going to have to wait.  I know you’re devastated.  Keep your fingers crossed that my being 30 minutes past the same day shipping timeframe won’t matter and my new power cord will ship today.  Which means I’ll have it by Wednesday.

But also please keep your fingers crossed for a small miracle and hope that my power cord starts working again.

See you in a few days!  Or sooner if we encounter a miracle!

Iiiiitttttt’s aaaaaaa brand new day!

It’s a brand new day!!

It’s a Brand. New. Day!

That’s a song that my sister (and I) used to sing a lot.  And for some reason, it popped into my head in the middle of the night last night.  And it seemed like the perfect title for today’s post.  Because it IS a brand new day in America.  In so many ways.

Black or white, or anywhere in between, we are ALL American’s and we are all proud of our country.

Christian, Agnostic, Jewish, Islamic, Hindu, Sikh,  Taoist, Wiccan, Scientologist, Atheist, or anything else, we are ALL American’s and we are all proud of our country.

We are not a country, or a world for that matter, of black and white.  We are made up of many colors, and that is how we must view our future.  There is no clear answer to any issue.  There is no simple solution to the problems we face.  We won’t always agree, but we have to be able to see where the other side is coming from.

We have to FORCE ourselves to see beyond our own black and white view of things.  We have to force ourselves to see things from other’s perspectives.  We have to force ourselves to see things in a new light.  We have to get beyond the divisiveness that has succeeded in turning us into two separate groups.  We’ve somehow become an “Us” and a “Them”.

We must come together.  As one unified Nation.  The UNITED States of America.

We’ve been lied to in the past.  It’s left us cynical and unable to trust.  We have good reason to be suspicious of our leaders.  But it’s time to be hopeful.  It’s time to put faith in Barack Obama’s ability and willingness to bring us together.  To allow US to have a voice in what happens to OUR country, to us.

To put faith in the fact that he’s not hellbent on destroying our Nation.  That he will protect our country at all costs.  That he’s not hoping for defeat in Iraq.  He’s not going to ruin Capitalism or turn us into Communists.  We’re better than that, and we must believe it.

I have that faith, do you?

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.  Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House – a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.  As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, “We are not enemies, but friends…though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.” And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn – I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.  – Barack Obama  11/4/2008

*And I’ve never done it before, but because today is about being positive and hopeful, I will, without regret, delete any comment left here that even hints at negativity. You’ve been warned.*

**Part Two, An Open Letter to John McCain, can be found here.  Please sign it, by leaving a comment, if you’re so inclined.**

Dear Senator McCain,

I’ve been critical of you lately. And I say lately because, in 2000, I believed you could make a good President. Although I certainly didn’t agree with you on every issue, you seemed like someone that would do the right thing. That would be honorable and act admirably.

But my view has changed following this election. You ran a nasty, mean spirited campaign. You lied, you schemed, and in the end, you did everything that you said you wouldn’t do.

It didn’t work well enough for you to win the Presidency. But, sadly, you did succeed in dividing this nation. You did succeed in creating a level of fear and hatred that I’ve never before witnessed. And that saddens and terrifies me.

You stood idly by as people called President Elect Barack Obama a terrorist. You stood idly by as your Vice Presidential pick, She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named-On-This-Blog-(Hopefully)-Ever-Again (SWWNBNOTB(H)EA), linked him to Communism. The only time you spoke out about it was when you were directly faced with ugliness and hatred, and to have stayed silent at that time would have sunk you forever. But that was it. That was the only time you spoke up to stop the madness.

Your silent participation spoke volumes to me. And it infuriates me. It seemed to justify, encourage even, the racism, fear, hate and discrimination that has begun to boil over. You hoped you could use it to your advantage. And it didn’t work. But I’m afraid it’s going to backfire on you. On us. On The United States of America.

I fear for our Country. I fear for President Elect Barack Obama and his family. I fear that your silent participation, and SWWNBNOTB(H)EA’s active participation, in portraying Barack Obama as someone to fear, will drive some nutjob to violence. In the name of God. In the “defense” of our Country.

And I will hold you accountable.

Your concession speech last night was a good first stop to tempering the divide. But it was not enough. You must make it clear to your and SWWNBNOTB(H)EA’s followers that President Elect Barack Obama is NOT a terrorist. That he is no one to fear. That he is capable of defending our Country. That he is a Patriot.

You must stand up and speak out against hatred. You must stand up and speak out against intolerance. You must stand up and SPEAK OUT. You owe it to the American People.

And I hope, as you’ve said time and time again during this campaign, that you really DO know how to fix this economy. And that you really DO know where Osama bin Laden is and how to “get him”. And I hope that you are more than willing to share that information with President Elect Obama.

The fight, of which you spoke so often, isn’t over. It is just beginning. And it’s going to be long. But it will give you the opportunity to redeem yourself.

And WE, the undersigned, will hold you accountable.

**Real names are not required.  This isn’t being submitted anywhere!**

VOTE.

Our future depends on it.