In Which I BEG for Parenting Advice
HELP!!!! I NEED HELP!!!!
Dylan hit four…and a whole new terrifying world opened up for him.
He can’t sleep anymore because he’s convinced that monsters, aliens and scarecrows are out to get him. My sweet child, who used to go to bed so willingly, and sleep soundly throughout the night, now refuses to go to bed and gets up no less than three times.
It’s so sad to see him at night, completely freaked out about being in his room, and desperate to not be left alone. Even with a night light, a 100lb. guard dog at the foot of his bed and NUMEROUS promises that we are only a few feet away. I feel so bad for him, and I don’t know how to make it better.
What do I do??? I can’t figure out how to convince him that there aren’t scary things outside his room just waiting for a chance to come in. I can’t find a way, short of letting him sleep in our bed, to get him to SLEEP.
Do I need to put 12 night lights in his room? Do I need to buy a CD of soothing sounds to play at night while he sleeps? Do I leave a Baby Einstein DVD playing at night? Do I lock him in there? (kidding…kidding)
After the sleep issues we had a few weeks ago, I’ve GOT to get this figured out. He’s tired. I’m tired.
The only upside to this whole situation is that he hasn’t mentioned the rocket launch in a week or so…
So, please share your advice. I’ll try anything.
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Sue on 25 Mar 2009 at 6:59 am #
Not sure it will help, but my 5 year old finds it immensely comforting to have a small flashlight in the bed with her (she also has a night light already on in the room) in case she “needs” to use it. I don’t think she ever has, but she likes knowing she has the option. Good luck.
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Meghan Reply:
March 25th, 2009 at 7:05 am
My god, woman…that’s BRILLIANT!!! I will try it tonight. Thank you!
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Andrea's Sweet Life on 25 Mar 2009 at 7:04 am #
I recommend using “monster away spray”. Get a spray bottle, put in some water (but don’t show him it’s just water) and then, before bed, help his spray his room. Tell him a big story about how monsters (or whatever else) can’t STAND the spray, just like mosquitos won’t bite when you use DEET.
Andrea’s Sweet Lifes last blog post..Sweating the Small Stuff
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cindy w on 25 Mar 2009 at 7:09 am #
Oh man, the poor little guy. I don’t have a kid this age and I’ve never experienced this myself, *but* I saw this mentioned on an episode of SuperNanny once. (The ultimate authority, right?) She said to get a spray bottle of water and to put some type of fragrance in there – some type of essential oil, maybe lemon or lavender, something mild & inoffensive. Label the bottle “Monsters Away! Spray” and give it a few good squirts around your kid’s room before bedtime to assure him that no monsters will come around.
Honestly, that might not be the right path because it seems to be reinforcing to your kid that there’s something scary out there that he needs to be protected from, but maybe if he knows it’s just a game & you’re being silly? I really don’t know. Best of luck, hope you find a solution that works.
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Miss on 25 Mar 2009 at 7:19 am #
Yup. I’ve heard from multiple moms that Monster Spray is the way to go. Maybe use two bottles, one for you, one for him.
If that doesn’t work, children’s benedryl.
Misss last blog post..I’m just…
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Natalie on 25 Mar 2009 at 8:01 am #
I agree with Andrea, but try putting a few drops cinnamon oil or Lavendar or other scent in the water so Dylan can smell it. It’s more convincing when you can smell it. Also make sure you tell him not to spray it directly on anything or it won’t work – it only works if you spray it into the air (That way nothing will get ruined!)
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punk rock mom on 25 Mar 2009 at 9:03 am #
I was going to say the water bottle idea too. You can also set up a very thorough night time routine where you become Monster/Scarecrow hunters and look all over and give him an ALL CLEAR sign when you find nothing. GOOD LUCK!
punk rock moms last blog post..The Time Had Come…
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Amy in OHio on 25 Mar 2009 at 9:53 am #
I don’t have any advice, but I’m thinking of you. Poor little guy and poor you!
Amy in OHios last blog post..Keeping up with the Obamas
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Headless Mom on 25 Mar 2009 at 11:05 am #
The spray bottle is supposed to work wonders. Good luck!
Because all I have is time. The eventually grow out of it.
Headless Moms last blog post..Proposal 2.0-The Headless Meeting
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heather... on 25 Mar 2009 at 12:04 pm #
When my brother and I shared a room, we were terrified of monsters, too. We were convinced there was a monster in our closet. So my parents took a lock (the kind you use for childproofing) and put it on the closet door. My brother and I felt MUCH better knowing there was no way the monster could get to us – we just made SURE it was locked every night!
Hopefully that will help little D!
heather…s last blog post..Swinger
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Manic Mommy on 25 Mar 2009 at 1:46 pm #
We had two things that worked:
We didn’t deny there were “monsters” or try “it’s just your imagination.” Rather, Andy very clearly pointed out that this was “our” house and he would never, ever allow any of those guys in. I think HRH’s belief in his father as protector really got us through it.
You may also want to try a dream catcher. This worked just recently when HRH was afraid of having bad dreams. He mentioned it during a sleep-over at my sister’s and she fashioned one out of a paper plate and some yarn.
Manic Mommys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
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Sophie, Inzaburbs on 25 Mar 2009 at 2:12 pm #
My daughter *does* sleep with 12 nightlights. OK, actually there are only 5… Plus 6 teddy bears and the door wide open so that we have to creep around until we hear her snore.
All this because we checked some dumb book out of the library about a boy who couldn’t sleep, thinking it would help the situation – and it turned out to have a line in it about how his mother made him monster spray but he knew it was just water with coloring….
Thanks children’s book author, that really helped.
Sophie, Inzaburbss last blog post..The One Where I Finally Guest Post
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papa-oomau-al on 25 Mar 2009 at 2:31 pm #
Wow, these suggestions are great! Now that I’m nearing 60 I’m gonna mix up a bottle of ‘Grim Reaper Spray’ and carry it in a holster at all times.
Good luck, Meg and Dylan!!
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midwest mommy on 25 Mar 2009 at 5:22 pm #
Oh this has got to be so hard. Our 3 year old had a week where she was scared to death but luckily she just mellowed out. I feel so bad for him.
midwest mommys last blog post..A Serious Question
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Issa on 25 Mar 2009 at 6:32 pm #
I love the imagination of a four year old and yet I can’t stand the imagination of a four year old. We went through a few months of this on each of them. Monster spray worked well. Also a night light and the closet light on. Unfortunetly, that’s really all you can do….and hope it doesn’t last too long.
Issas last blog post..Six months
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Cathy on 25 Mar 2009 at 6:33 pm #
Tell him, very seriously, that you got an email from the head-monster. And that the head monster has said that they will only get him if he comes out of his room before morning. They’ll be waiting right outside the door for him, so he better keep his butt in his bed and just go to sleep until the monsters leave at dawn.
**************Okay seriously….
Quinn went through something similiar. We hooked up a nightlight and told him that monster’s were NOT ALLOWED IN OUR HOUSE. We told him that Maggie, our old dog, would NEVER allow a monster to come into our house and that seemed to work. We didn’t try to convince him that monster’s didn’t exsist, just that they weren’t allowed here in our house.
Good luck!
Cathys last blog post..Happy Monday!
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Cathy on 25 Mar 2009 at 6:35 pm #
Damn. It should be monsters. Not monster’s. Darn it. I hate typos/mistakes on comments.
Cathys last blog post..Happy Monday!
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Quart on 26 Mar 2009 at 2:12 am #
I LOVE Cathy’s idea!!
We play the 24-hr. classical station in both rooms and Will actually told me once that that’s the music that helps him sleep. Though Monsters Away Spray sounds like a better bet!!
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Dorene on 26 Mar 2009 at 3:54 am #
We are actually going through this now with our 4 year old. She turns every light on in her room and we still sometimes find her in our bed or the living room (which really makes no sense to me because those rooms are darker). The past few nights we have set up an army of her stuffed animals to guard her room. They are positioned to watch ever corner and crevice. So far, so good. The monster spray sounds like a good idea and I may try that if our current method stops working.
Dorenes last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Take a picture of me!
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Joe on 26 Mar 2009 at 4:48 pm #
OMG, that damned clown from Poltergeist scared the ever-living crap out of me. When I woke up in the middle of the night, my dad just ignored me.
Yay for dysfunctional families!!
Joes last blog post..He Has a Future in Lawn Maintenance
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Meghan Reply:
March 31st, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Did you just call us dysfunctional? :0)
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Denise on 27 Mar 2009 at 7:05 pm #
I know this isn’t going to be your favorite advice. But sometimes my 5 year old goes through needy phases, like around birthdays for example. I think they are growing and maturing and sometimes it’s hard for them to handle everything that’s new going on in their heads. So in turn all that change affects her sleep and ability to stay asleep through the night.
So we, ready to take a sip of that wine…. We put her mattress on the floor of our bedroom, to help her get through her phases. It doesn’t stay in our room all the time, but if she needs a few weeks, we are open to it. That way she’s not climbing into our bed in the middle of the night, but she feels safe.
My thoughts are with you, it’s so hard!
Denises last blog post..Now It’s, Happy SNOWY Spring!
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