Perspective
The Universe has a way of giving me a swift kick in the ass right when I need it.
Remember when I found out that Zach needed glasses and I kind of freaked out a little? Shortly thereafter my friend Hannah found out that her unborn son Andrew had bunk kidneys, might not survive, and if he did, he’d need a kidney transplant. (To catch up on her story, go here).
HELLO?! My kid needed GLASSES, not a new ORGAN. *Perspective*
And then on Sunday I learned that Baby Emily had taken a turn for the worse and wasn’t going to make it. That her parents had been forced to make the difficult decision to end her treatment and remove her breathing tube on Monday. And I was heartbroken. For her. For her parents, for their family and friends.
And so, when I took Zach to his follow-up visit with the Ophthalmologist yesterday and found out he most likely needs surgery on his eye muscle, I didn’t, as would normally have been the case, freak out. Because, in reality, it’s SO not a big deal. Emily’s parents were saying goodbye to their daughter and I was being told that my perfectly healthy son needs a minor surgery on a muscle in his eye. *Reality check*
And while I so wish these lessons weren’t possible, that Andrew didn’t need new kidneys and that Emily was running around and playing like my toddler is, they do make me appreciate my kids and my life. And it makes me thankful that *all* I have to deal with is keeping glasses on an almost two year old and figuring out how to keep a 4 year old in bed at night.
I’m really incredibly lucky. Even though I might not always realize it.
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Undomestic Diva on 31 Mar 2009 at 2:39 pm #
Can I just say that while others may have it far worse, you can’t possibly compare your life with theirs… it’s apples and oranges… and just because your trials don’t seem as tragic as theirs doesn’t mean they aren’t as important or relevent or pain-staking for you personally. You’re allowed to be scared, worried, anxious and freaked out because those are *your* babies and that’s your job. Don’t compare. XOXO
My heart also aches for that family who I don’t even know. It’s incredibly sad.
Undomestic Divas last blog post..Earmuffed
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Headless Mom on 31 Mar 2009 at 2:49 pm #
Diva is so right. Our struggles are our struggles. We certainly ache for others in their struggles and see that ours could be worse, but ours are still ours. They still hurt us, scare us, etc.
Headless Moms last blog post..Click for Clutter-3-The Pokemon Edition
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Maura on 31 Mar 2009 at 2:50 pm #
While I agree that you can’t necessarily compare your trials with someone else’s, it’s also human nature to do so. And I think that if it helped keep you in perspective and not freaked out about the possibility of surgery, I think that’s a good thing. It doesn’t mean that it’s not a big deal for you and your family, but being able to handle it because you’re grateful that, relatively speaking, it’s not a HUGE deal is better for all of you.
That said, you know we’ll be here for you and Zach when the time comes and he’ll have all the support the little bundle of adorable could ask for.
Mauras last blog post..Year of Living Generously – Hollywood Edition
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Meghan on 31 Mar 2009 at 2:51 pm #
I totally get what you’re saying. And, TRUST ME, when the day comes for his surgery (if he ends up needing it) I will be a total fucking basket case about him being under general anesthesia for an hour.
BUT, when I think about what I *could* be dealing with, it makes it easier to swallow.
And just ask Hannah, I still complain to her ALL THE TIME about the trivial shit. And then she complains to me about setting up daily dialysis for her kid. It’s what we do.
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jessica on 31 Mar 2009 at 3:03 pm #
you said it. Perspective, reality check. I get it every two weeks when I volunteer at a local ER.
jessicas last blog post..It’s all good, not to worry
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Cathy on 31 Mar 2009 at 3:51 pm #
Perspective – it’s one of the things reading others blogs have helped me find. Nicely done.
Cathys last blog post..Happy Monday – The LAST Snow Storm
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Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire on 31 Mar 2009 at 4:42 pm #
((hugs))
Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Girls Day out.
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Joe @ Irrational Dad on 31 Mar 2009 at 4:56 pm #
I agree with the commenters… it’s ok to freak out about your own personal crises, but having some perspective goes a long way to keeping undue stress out of your life.
Plus.. surgery on an EYEBALL???? Call the freak-out police!! Good luck with it. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Doctors are pretty awesome.
Joe @ Irrational Dads last blog post..All the News That’s Fit to Print
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Marinka on 31 Mar 2009 at 5:01 pm #
I totally get what you’re saying. I agree with Diva that we are all allowed to complain about our problems, even if they seem to be trivial in comparison to others’. I mean, we have running water, we’re already better off than a large part of the world. I think it’s important to realize how fortunate we are, while holding on to the right to complain about things that are less than perfect. I;m very sorry for your friend’s heartbreaking loss.
Marinkas last blog post..Treatment
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anymommy on 31 Mar 2009 at 6:19 pm #
Definitely. I both love and hate this kind of perspective. I hate it, of course, because it means that someone I love is enduring pain worse than I can imagine, but it’s good to see your life for all the gifts it contains. And to echo everyone else, it doesn’t stop me from bitching when the line is too long at Starbucks – and your beautiful boy’s eyes are a hell of a lot more important than that!
anymommys last blog post..Another Little Crack in My Heart
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jen on 31 Mar 2009 at 6:47 pm #
i had this exact same discussion just minutes ago with a friend … i was complaining about how the bedroom redo wasn’t going as well as planned. she just gave birth to their 3rd child and they live in a 2 bedroom floor of a house. and i have another friend in a position where her husband and her are out of work and had to move into their parent’s basement with two kids.
perspective … is a mighty fine thing to have access too.
i’m glad that your sense of perspective has helped you. i will be thinking about your family …
and those other families.
and stop caring that the moulding isn’t on yet.
jens last blog post..five.
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Issa on 31 Mar 2009 at 7:05 pm #
Every day I read a site written by a man whose son has neuroblastoma. He’s four and he’s had it since he was seven months old. There is no cure. I wonder how I can complain about my kids, when I know what this family is going through. But it’s not the same. We all deal with what we have to deal with. There is no comparison.
On the surgery, I feel for you and for him. But I will tell you, he will be just fine. I know he will because I was fine. I had the same surgery when I was barely three years old. Mostly, I think it was hard on my mom.
Issas last blog post..Gone fishin
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HRH on 01 Apr 2009 at 3:15 am #
So true…how DO you keep glasses on a two year old?
HRHs last blog post..I wish he represented MY district
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Jen on 01 Apr 2009 at 5:51 am #
I found my own bit of perspective this week – I actually just wrote a post about it. It’s ok to still worry about your own trials sometimes we just need a reminder to be happy about all the things that are good.
Jens last blog post..Putting Things In Perspective
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Amy in OHio on 01 Apr 2009 at 6:15 am #
Words to live by for all of us. Thanks for the kick in the ass.
Amy in OHios last blog post..Keeping up with the Obamas
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Angella on 01 Apr 2009 at 11:34 am #
What a great reminder. Thanks for this.
Angellas last blog post..Someone Should Buy You Flowers
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Redhead on 01 Apr 2009 at 1:43 pm #
Totally hear you on this one. Good luck with the glasses and the bedtime. I think parenting is hard under all circumstances. Some have it harder than others but it’s all hard.
Redheads last blog post..My unending tears don’t even seem enough
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heather... on 01 Apr 2009 at 3:36 pm #
EVERYONE has the right to complain. Life isn’t a contest. Perspective, BLAH BLAH. Zach needing surgery is a BIG DEAL to YOU, and it should be treated as such!!!
And it’s a big deal to me too, but you know what I mean.
heather…s last blog post..Batter Up
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PsychMamma on 02 Apr 2009 at 9:43 am #
I know exactly what you mean, because we have bumped into the same kind of “perspective” over and over when we seek treatment for J. The NICU, specialists and labs are all filled with families with kids going through much more than we are. It does help you remember to be thankful for what you have and to not take life and health for granted.
At the same time, I know how stressful it is to worry during procedures for your kiddo and any surgery is frightening. Keep us all posted. I’ll be thinking about Z-man, you, and the whole fam. It’s rough for everyone. Hopefully, he’ll be bouncing around like normal again soon.
PsychMammas last blog post..What Color Are YOUR Underwear?
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Angie @ Keep Believing on 03 Apr 2009 at 5:12 am #
I am a master at giving people perspective on their lives. And you know what? I hate it. I like to be carried away into the trials and tribulations of snotty noses and dealayed milestones – like sleeping through the night or a tooth that won’t fall out or a bully on the bus, etc. Because that is everyday stuff. And even if life gives you a huge dose of perspective, you and I still have to deal with those things. Today, I just also have to deal with a 6 year old who would really like to die so he can see his Daddy again. Tomorrow, I will have to break up a fight over the Wii.
KEEP BELIEVING
Angie @ Keep Believings last blog post..Daddy’s truck
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Kara-Noel on 11 Apr 2009 at 5:59 pm #
I hear you! It is so easy to focus on what we don’t have… rather than what we do have!
Kara-Noels last blog post..Last Minute Easter Craft: Part 2
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