The World Turned Upside Down
Three weeks ago tomorrow, at 6:57pm, the world turned upside down. Maybe not for everybody. Maybe not even for you. But for many of us.
For Heather and Mike especially.
I immediately went into planning mode. Into protective mode. Into active mode. Into friend mode. I haven’t stopped in three weeks.
Because I know that when I do, my facade will come crashing down. My strong front.
The tears will come. And I fear they won’t ever stop.
I will cry for a little girl lost. The beautiful one with the devastatingly gorgeous curls, the captivating blue eyes, the smile that could light up a room. The little girl that was going to be my daughter-in-law. At the very least, my son’s best friend. Just as close as her mom and I are.
I will cry for her parents. Because I love them as if they were my very own family. Because I can imagine the pain they’re feeling. But because I really can’t even fathom the pain they’re feeling.
I will cry because all of you have wrapped your arms around them. Have embraced them, have shown them a love I didn’t really even know was possible. Because you have restored my faith in humanity.
But not my faith in the Universe. The Universe is an asshole. A downright, out and out asshole.
But this little girl, she will forever be in my thoughts. In my heart. In my life. Maybe not in the way I’d hoped. But there still.
I love you Heather and Mike. I’m here for you. Always.
*I hesitated to hit publish. Because I don’t want to, even for a second, make this about me. Because it’s not about me. Not even for a moment. Not even a little bit.*
**Updated: I disabled comments. I love, adore and cherish each and every one of you. But your kind words are really too much for me to handle right now. I hope you understand. xoxo**
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Undomestic Diva on 27 Apr 2009 at 6:44 pm #
You deserve lots of XOXOXO too… As Heather’s close friend, you’ve been going through it with her. Much love and thanks, especially, for all you’ve done – not just for Heather, Mike and Maddie – but for all of us… keeping us informed, telling us how we could help, being the messenger and the organizer, etc., etc., etc. You rock.
Undomestic Divas last blog post..Marching for Maddie
pgoodness on 27 Apr 2009 at 6:44 pm #
You are a fabulous friend – you have been strong and protective and amazing. It can be about you – you are part of their lives – you deserve to be able to grieve, too.
Hugs to you.
pgoodnesss last blog post..Mom {Potty} – 0, Preston – 1
Sarah on 27 Apr 2009 at 6:45 pm #
We know it’s not about you – your love for Heather and Mike and the late great Maddie is so clearly obvious in this entry.
I took down the buy a block be a hero blocks today and saved the ones my coworkers bought for Maddie. I’m going to mail those to Mike & Heather. I’m a stranger, but I love their family anyway.
((hugs))
Sarahs last blog post..Bedmates
Adrienne on 27 Apr 2009 at 6:49 pm #
If everyone had a friend like you the world would be a better place.
The universe howeveer would still suck ass.
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rachel-asouthernfairytale on 27 Apr 2009 at 6:49 pm #
You are so amazing.
such a blessing and I feel honored to have met you. You reinforce that there are good, selfless amazing people out there.
Thank you for helping to make Maddie’s legacy even more powerful.
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Midwestmommy on 27 Apr 2009 at 6:50 pm #
You are a wonderful friend. My heart is broken for a little girl I never met I can’t imagine what yours is feeling. It isn’t fair.
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AMomTwoBoys » BlogHer Bound on 29 May 2009 at 2:06 pm #
[...] And then, (almost) 8 weeks ago, the world turned upside down. [...]