Sooo…I haven’t posted, or really even advertised that I’ll be at  BlogHer this year.  Because, really, I’m not SUPPOSED to be at BlogHer.  I wasn’t planning to go.  It didn’t fit into our family budget, and while I *could* have used my awesome powers of guilt and persuasion (they worked last year) and borrowed the funds from our “save ridiculous amounts of money so we can buy a house” savings account, it just didn’t seem like the best idea.  Especially since it would have depleted said account.  Heh.

So I was resigned to sitting at home and drinking heavily while reading all of your posts and tweets from Chicago.

And then, (almost) 8 weeks ago, the world turned upside down.

And my thoughts on the subject changed.  I knew I HAD to be there.  Because Heather was still planning on going.  And as much as I knew she needed to go, to see everyone, to thank everyone, to get away, I also knew is was going to be hard.  And I felt *I* had to be there with her.  For her. Even if I’m way over inflating my importance in the matter. Shhh. Don’t tell me  :0)

I also knew I needed to be there to thank each and every one of you myself.  For the amazing things you’ve done these past two months.  For being who you are.  For being what you are, which, by the way is SUPER SPECTACULARLY AWESOME.

But, still, I’d made a pact with my husband that we’d save money.  And, specifically, not plan any trips this year.

And it was such a dilemma for me.  Like, literally, a keep me awake at night, stress me out, drive me to drink more dilemma.

And then, suddenly, I was TOLD I was going.  That I had a plane ticket (on the Party Plane, no less) and a conference pass and that the rooming situation was being figured out.

That some of you, unbeknownst to me, had gotten together and, for lack of a better word, sponsored me.  And once again, I was blow away at how amazing and generous and loving and caring and SUPER SPECTACULARLY AWESOME you all are.

And I was excited.  But I was also sad.  Sad because I shouldn’t be going to BlogHer this year.  Sad because Maddie should still be here.  Sad because BlogHer for Heather should be nothing more than a fun weekend away from her husband and daughter.

So I didn’t tell people.  I didn’t add the button to my sidebar.  I didn’t scream it from the rooftops.  I didn’t want to celebrate it.  Because it didn’t seem like it was something to be celebrated.  You know what I mean?

But I owe some of you a thanks.  A thank you for giving me the chance to be there.  A thank you for once again showing me how awesome and generous people can be.

And I didn’t feel as though I could go much longer with out saying it.  Even though I really don’t know to whom I’m supposed to be saying Thank You, you generous anonymous bastards.

So, Thank You.  And I really AM excited about going and I’m looking forward to seeing, meeting, and groping so many of you in person.

And, since my husband is giving me shit for the amount of money he suspects I’ll spend on food and alcohol, please don’t be mad at me if you find me doing this to you:

see more Fail Blog

Okay?  Thanks in advance.

PS- I’ve heard of many, many, many of you who aren’t planning on going to Chicago because  you couldn’t get a conference pass.  TRUST me when I say that, pass or not, there will be plenty to see and do and you won’t ever find yourself without a drinking/eating/gossiping/shopping partner.  So, spend the $$ you saved on a conference pass and get yourself a hotel room.  For reals.  Do it.  DOOOOO IT.  And please leave a note in the comments if you’re already planning that, so everyone can see who will be there.  We’ll call it Blogstock/Blogstalk or something.   Heh.

Once again, I find that I’ve got NOTHING to share with you.  Or, really, plenty to share with you, but no way to put any of it into words.

Except for “ARGH!”

Because after the last two weeks of dealing with sick children, and having a nice bout of stomach flu myself, I’m drained.

SO, it’s your lucky day, once again.

Comments are open for hijacking, or, as the case may be, pirating.

In case you haven’t been around these parts when comments have been open to you, you can check out previous examples here and here.

The rules are simple:

Leave a comment, as long as you’d like, about whatever you’d like.  Personal attacks will be deleted.  I’m pretty lenient, but I do have final say.  Keep that in mind.  Play nice.

Okay….GO!

So, I just twittered what I was making for lunch.  And a bunch of you asked me for the recipe.  And by a bunch, I mean two.  But, ask and ye shall receive.

It’s not really a “recipe” so much as it is a bunch of stuff thrown together, so you’ll have to excuse my measurements a bit.  I’ll be as informative as possible.

And also?  In the interest of full disclosure, I got t he idea for this recipe from the nice hair net wearing food sampler ladies at Costco.

Twitter Rice and Refried Bean Dip:

Sorry for the crappy iPhone photo

1- Can Refried Beans (I use Rosarita Vegetarian)

1- Can of Chicken Breast in water*

1- Cup Salsa (nothing too chunky, whatever heat level you prefer)

- Cheese (I like A LOT of cheese, so I probably use a big handful, and then i put more on top)

1- Cup Mexican Rice (see my Gringo recipe below)

-  Garlic powder and Ground cayenne pepper to taste

To Make:

Dump ingredients into a pan and heat.  Toss into a bowl, serve with tortilla chips, hot sauce and sour cream.

Meghan’s Gringo Mexican Rice:

Depending on how lazy I’m feeling, I use either REAL rice or Instant type rice.  Either way, I use chicken broth for the liquid (or add a bouillon cube to the water) and I always use Knorr brand Tomato Bouillon.  I also throw in some garlic powder and cumin.  If I use real rice, I sautee it in olive oil until it browns a bit before I add the liquid to cook it.

*If you want to be all fancy, I suppose you can cook your own chicken.

ENJOY!

I know I owe you an iPhone update, and it will come soon.  I just don’t feel like WRITING anything today.  Or yesterday.  Or, probably, tomorrow.  So, I’ll have it here…eventually.  :0)

In the meantime, someone *special* told me yesterday that they like this post and that it makes them laugh.  Since we could ALL use a good laugh right now, and given that so many of you are new here and haven’t seen it before, I thought I’d share it with you today.

Originally posted March 2, 2009.

How to Scare the Ever Loving Crap Out of Your Children in Three Easy Steps:

BONUS! Order now and we’ll include the Special Edition “How to Guarantee Yourself a Shitty Night’s Sleep!”

That’s TWO amazing items for the low, low cost cost of ten minutes of your life that you’ll never get back!

Just pay shipping & processing!

Step 1:

Conveniently forget that your child has an unreasonable and all-consuming fear of the unknown AND loud noises.

It might be difficult to forget, especially seeing as this is how he spent last Fourth of July:

I’m not kidding you. He was like this all fucking day.

But, as the diligent parent you are, you should be able to put it out of your mind.

Once you’ve successfully completed Step 1 you’re ready to move on.

Step 2:

Excitedly tell your child that THERE’S A ROCKET LAUNCH TONIGHT!!!!

*All caps and extra exclamation points are entirely necessary to convey optimal excitement factor and importance of this historic event.*

You’re excited! A rocket launch! Your space loving child will ADORE getting up at 1:30 in the morning to watch the flame-filled Rocket hurtle towards space!

And the close proximity of the Air Force Base will guarantee you up-close and personal seats to this EXCITING event!

*Actual photo from the launch. Click the picture for the story*

It is important that when your child looks at you wide-eyed and says “But I don’t WANT to see a Rocket!” that you DO NOT back down.

Rationally blame it on the fact that it’s close to bedtime. They’re tired, confused, worn out from the long day of nose-picking and TV watching.

OF COURSE he would like to see a rocket launch! He’d love nothing more than to see a rocket launch!

*It is IMPERATIVE at this point that you don’t back down. Your goal is to scare the EVER LOVING CRAP out of your child. By now you’ve only slightly alarmed them.*

Step 3:

Go into further detail.

At this point, it’s your only option.

Clearly, your child is craving further explanation. He must not fully understand the details surrounding the rocket launch.

Explain that the rocket will be blasting into space carrying a camera! To take pictures of the Earth!

When your child is freaked out about WHO is on the rocket, and demands to know exactly WHAT person will be taking his picture from space, ignore the fact that his cute little under-developed brain is picturing a man in a rocket ship hovering outside his bedroom window with a camera.

Instead, and this is VERY important, make it even more terrifying by explaining that it’s not actually a man with a camera, but a ROBOT.

YES! A ROBOT in a ROCKET SHIP will be blasting off, VERY LOUDLY, from the NEARBY Air Force Base and will be taking pictures of you, WHILE YOU SLEEP, through your bedroom window!

Now, be sure to do all of this JUST before you tuck your little imp into bed.

*Program Complete*

And if that, my friends, doesn’t scare the ever loving crap out of your child AND guarantee you a third party in your bed for the duration of the night, thus ensuring a shitty night’s sleep, AMomTwoBoys will refund your money*.

And if you’re REALLY SUPER AWESOME, you’ll be so thoroughly exhausted after the night’s rib-jabbing co-sleeping event, you won’t even wake up to see the mother fucking rocket launch. It’s double the good times.

You. Are. Welcome.

*Unfortunately, no refunds will be given for the amount of time you spent reading this post.*

**And the rocket?!  Totally fucking crashed.  It was a big ole FAIL all around**

NOTHING can be easy.  It’s as if there is some sort of cosmic rule guiding my life lately.

Seems simple?  ISN’T.

Easy fix? NOT.

I got my iPhone on January 6th.  I’ve been happy with it.  There are a few things that are stupid and make me want to slap Apple upside the head.  I mean, you’re APPLE.  You’ve got commercials (that crack me up, btw) showing us how much better/smarter/easier/more useful you are than a PC.  Shouldn’t that translate to the iPhone?  Shouldn’t there be an “I’m a Blackberry/I’m an iPhone” commercial?

SHOULDN’T my iPhone be top of the line?  State of the art?  Above the simple, stupid things that make other phones so lame?

APPARENTLY  NOT:

1. You can’t send or receive Multi Media Messages.  How does a $200 phone, that’s supposed new age and all that crap, NOT handle text messages with pictures?  iPhone FAIL
2. You can’t attach two or more pictures to an email.  Duh.  iPhone FAIL
3. The camera?  SUCKS.  Poor quality, doesn’t zoom…  iPhone FAIL
4. This might be stupid, but it’s caused MANY moments of annoyance for me.  The answer/ignore buttons should be reversed.  Red/Ignore is on the left and Green/Answer is on the right.  I’m constantly hanging up on people who I want to speak with.  I’d take a picture to show you, but I can’t (see #5) iPhone FAIL  (and I suppose this is a purely personal preference)
5. You put WATER SENSORS on the OUTSIDE of the fucking phone.  iPhone FAIL

I started getting this error message a few weeks ago:

At first it happened intermittently.  Once, maybe twice a day for a few minutes.  Last week, it showed up and stuck around.  For TWO DAYS.  I went to my local Apple Store to see what the Apple Geniuses could do for me.  They were thoroughly perplexed, as they’d NEVER seen this warning before.

My genius hooked the phone up to a computer to see what error messages it showed her, and nothing came up.  So, she took the phone “in back” to look into it further.  About 2 minutes later she came back to tell me that she’d discovered the problem.  The “water sensor” had been tripped.  My phone had somehow received water damage.

WATER DAMAGE.  I assure you, unlike some people,  I’ve never dropped my iPhone in the toilet.  It’s never been dropped in a margarita, a glass of wine, a mojito or even a glass of freaking water.  It’s NEVER been in my pocket while I was working out (stop laughing) or placed in a cup holder that was filled with condensation  (as my local Genius oh so helpfully suggested as the possible culprit).  It’s been in the bathroom a few times while I took a shower (so I wouldn’t miss an OH SO IMPORTANT call) and it’s been by my side more than once while I’ve given the boys a bath.

Steam?  Water splashes from bath time?  I can only imagine.

Oddly enough, as soon as my Genius looked at my phone it miraculously recovered and started to work again.  Until today, when it went back to Default Temperature Warning Mode, and stopped working AGAIN.

When all is said and done, my iPhone is shot.  And my warranty is conveniently voided, due to “water damage”.  Mind you, the warning I’m getting is new to almost EVERYONE.  If you google it, you’ll get a few results from people who’ve received it while running certain apps.  There’s no way to PROVE that the “water damage” caused the phone to stop working, and no way to prove that it is simply a faulty phone.

Either way, I’m screwed.  But, LUCKILY for me, Apple recently changed their policy, and instead of forcing people to buy a new phone for $400 (as has been the case since they released it), they’re replacing “water damaged” units for the low, low price of $200!  And, to make it an even better deal, you get a REFURBISHED iPhone!  Someone else’s water damaged phone can be YOURS for ONLY $200!

Apple, I’m disenchanted.  I’m bummed.  I’m annoyed. I’m about to be out ANOTHER $200.  Or, I might just switch back to a Blackberry.  At least when THAT stopped working, all it needed was a  new $10 ball.

It’s official! The Beauty for Babies campaign is up and running over at March for Maddie!!!

Bidding has already started on two great lots, and there will be more added on a regular basis for the next week!

You can also grab your very own Beauty for Babies button here.

It’s the time you’ve all been waiting for!  It’s time for you to learn, once and for all, just what we’ve been Twitter teasing you about these past few days!

The back story:

Moved by Heather and Mike’s story and wanting to do something to honor the beautiful and brave Madeline Spohr, Cindy Deily (a buyer at Sephora) decided to rally her colleagues to dig deep into their personal beauty stashes to put together an auction to benefit the March of Dimes. 100% of the proceeds from the auction, less shipping costs and PayPal fees, will be donated to the MOD in Maddie’s honor. All items up for auction are new and unused. Retail values of each lot are will be stated.

What this means for you:

Starting tomorrow and continuing every day for a week, we’ll be putting up auction items (19 lots total), from brands that include Clarisonic, T3, ghd, Caudalie, NUDE Skincare, Boscia, Bare Escentuals, REN, Dior, NV Perricone, Fresh, Stella McCartney, Juice Beauty, Ojon, Phyto, Frederic Fekkai, Fusion Beauty, Cartier, Calvin Klein, Vera Wang, Marc Jacobs, Guerlain, Too Faced, and MORE!

Bidding will be contained in the comments, with each consecutive comment outbidding the last.  Retail values for the lots range from $114 to $363 and bidding on each lot will start at approximately 25% of the retail price.

The auction is open to everyone, however due to shipping restrictions, we can ONLY ship to the United States and Canada.  We apologize for any inconvenience!

Terms of sale:

-All sales are final.
-Items may NOT be returned for exchange or credit to Sephora. Barcodes have been marked out to prevent returns.
-Winners are responsible for shipping fees.
-Winning bidders will be notified via e-mail of the actual shipping costs and payment instructions (payments accepted include PayPal or Money Order only).
-Items will ship within 5 business days of receipt of payment via UPS Ground delivery.
-Shipping to US destinations will not exceed $15. Shipping to Canada will not exceed $40.

Advertise it for us!

- Badges are being created as we speak. We’ll have them available for you tomorrow.

I’m here.

I’m trying desperately to get over a nasty sore throat and cough I picked up last week.

It’s kicking my ass.

I’m tired.

My 3 month old iPhone crapped out for good today. The woman at the AT&T store was completely perplexed by the “Temperature Warning” message it gives. SO, I get to pack the boys up and head to San Luis Obispo tomorrow to INSIST they replace it.  Fun times.

Also?  We got the final word on Zach’s eyes.  Surgery on the muscles is scheduled for June 29th. It’s minor and it’s something that is done ALL THE TIME, but it’s still freaking me the eff out.  It’s an hour under general anesthesia.  Nuff said.

Today the Universe apparently felt it needed to prove,  in more ways than one, what an asshole it is.

I’m going to bed.

xoxo