AMomTwoBoys

Once upon a time…

We were on the boat and I got to drive it.

And we saw the back of a whale. But we didn’t see it’s face.

(and mommy didn’t get a picture of it)

And we saw some sea lions waving at us.

And a lot of dolphins.

And daddy was trying to touch one.

And I wanted to go in the ocean water. But I didn’t want to.

Zach Zach took a nap.

And I heard a strange bang on the water and I had to find out what it is, but I can’t find it. Because I had to go under water to find the bang.

(we think a dolphin may have slapped against the boat at some point)

And then we went to the beach and I swam all by MYSELF!

So, the end. That’s all.

MOM, that’s all.

*I asked Dylan to tell me about our day out on the boat, and this is what he said*

I heart you.  I really, really do.

I love that you can take recipes for foods I love, make them healthy, and not sacrafice the taste.

And that’s high praise coming from me.

Really, just wait until I post my recipe (on Eat, Drink and Blog) for the Chicken Cordon Bleu Macaroni and Cheese I made last week.

You might die of a heart attack the moment you see the ingredient list.

Or…maybe not.   Seeing as you promote healthy eating and probably have your cholesterol and blood pressure well within normal limits.

Anyhoo,  I’ve slacked off lately, but I decided today that I was going to make a concerted effort to start cooking MEALS again.  And baking frozen crap from the freezer doesn’t count.

So I went through last year’s Recipe book and earmarked a few that I thought might work.

I decided I’d start with your Cavatappi with Spinach, Beans and Asiago Cheese.

And it was a GIANT, HUGE, SPECTACULAR Cooking Light failure.

But it wasn’t your fault.  It was mine.

There’s something wrong with me, Cooking Light.

I just. can’t. do. it.

I added Mild Italian Sausage.

I had to.

And you know what?

IT WAS REALLY FUCKING DELICIOUS.

Please don’t kick me out of the club.

I promise to try.

But also don’t be surprised if I start a new trend.

Cooking Semi-Light.  Ish.

Love,

Meghan

It was Dylan’s turn to visit Dr. Ocular today.  I’ve been noticing something off about his eyes lately.  It seems that occasionally his left eye turns slightly inward, and other times, his eyes just look…weird.  That’s my official description, which I’m SURE made complete and total sense to Dr. Ocular and his staff.

This is the official transcript of what went down….

He put on some SUH-WEET looking fancy glasses.

And then had to point stuff out.

And then they put drops in his eyes.

I assure you they were not torturing him.

And then we waited 30 minutes while his eyes dilated.

Which you can’t really tell here.

But trust me, they did.

And then they did some other sort of weird test to him.

And then he decided to be a goofball.

And then Dr. Ocular showed up.

And worked some of his magic.

And then he told me that Dylan is farsighted.

Which isn’t a shock, because all kids are farsighted.

BUT, Dylan’s right eye is worse than his left.

Which ISN’T normal.

And then he threw out a bunch of big words, like amblyopia and visual acuity.

Or something.

SO…

We have to go back in 6ish weeks to have him reevaluated.

Because it’s possible that he was just screwing around today and wasn’t giving them straight answers.

SHOCKING, I KNOW.

So Dr. Ocular wants to reexamine him before he decides if he needs to wear a patch.

Like a pirate.

Then Dr. Ocular gave Dylan a lollipop.

And Dylan wore his cool new sun glasses.

And then we went to the mall in the hopes of finding me a bathing suit.

It was an epic fail.

But he got to throw “monies” in the fountain, so it was a win for him.

And I didn’t even bother to ask what the difference is between Zach’s eye issues and what Dylan might have.  I mean, it’s KIND OF the same thing.  But Zach needs glasses and surgery, and Dylan will need a patch.  WEIRD.

I’m glad there are Doctors to figure out all this stuff.  I’m just going to continue to eat bon bons and nachos.

*All the crappy photos are courtesy of my new (refurbished?) $199 iPhone*

I’ve been feeling “off” for a few weeks now and the past few days I’ve been EXHAUSTED.  I mean, more exhausted than I’ve ever been.  EVER.

Except for two other times in my life.  And those two times I ended up with a baby.

So…when we were out running errands, I added “pregnancy test” to my  list of items to purchase from Target.  It went below Lunchables and Eucerin Lotion.  Oh, and coffee.

So we got home and I went about my day, patiently waiting until I had to pee.  Which took FOREVER because, for some unknown reason yesterday, I wasn’t downing Iced Tea (UNSWEETENED) like I normally do.

Anyway, after my nap, I woke up and peed on a stick.

And then I had a mild heart attack because there were IMMEDIATELY two lines.  And if you know anything, you know that two lines means you’re pregnant.  But then I took a deep breath and looked at the directions, and two lines means the test is working, not that you’re pregnant.  A plus sign means you’re pregnant.

So, phew.  Crisis averted.  For the next five minutes, at least.

I put the stick down and went about picking up the house.  And then my sister called, so I sat down on the couch and talked to her.  And then Heather and I started chatting on Gmail.  And then I totally forgot about the test.  And when I remembered it and mentioned it to Heather, who has been bugging me for a solid week to take one, that I’d finally done it but had forgotten to look at it, she yelled at me.  ALL CAPS YELLED AT ME.

So I got off the couch and looked at it.  And there was no plus sign.

I was happy I didn’t have to find the Mirena customer service number to give to my husband so he could call and chew them out.  I kept thinking of the Friends episode where Rachel tells Ross she’s pregnant, and he freaks out because they used a condom, and she’s like, they’re only 97% effective, and he’s like WHAT?!  And then he gets mad that they don’t have that information on the box and she tells him it IS there.  And he goes and gets a box and is pissed that that information isn’t in bigger writing.  And then go goes and tells Phoebe and Joey and Joey freaks about the effectiveness and pulls a whole roll of condoms out of his pocket.  It’s funny.

But I digress…

I was also a little bit disappointed.

My baby  just turned two.  He’s not a baby anymore.   I like being pregnant (more so after the first 12 weeks).  I like giving birth (mostly due to my insistence on an epidural).  I like having a newborn (even the middle of the night feedings).  I don’t feel done.  I love my kids with everything I have, but I don’t feel finished.  I want another baby.

Now is NOT the time for us to have a baby.  I know that.  I even know that 6 months from now might not be the time to have another baby.  I don’t know when, or even IF, that time will ever come.  But I hope it does.  And I hope I can convince DJ of it.

I also hope I can figure out why in the hell I’ve been feeling the way I’ve been feeling.  Because I need SOMETHING to explain the exhaustion and the headaches.  And the boobs.  OH, the boobs.  And also why Dill Pickle Cashews sounded like a good buy.  They weren’t, btw.  Gag.

Dear DJ:

Next time you decide to buy a huge ass bag of M&M’s, please make them peanut.  Kthanxbai.

Dear Mother Nature:

This weather totally blows.  Please shape up and at least allow some sun to peek through the clouds before Noon.  Oh, and temperatures above 65 would be great.  It’s August for christsake.

Dear Self:

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!  There is no good reason for you to be THIS tired.  Figure it out and fix it.  NOW.

Dear Dylan,

Naps are your friend.  Really.  When you nap during the day, you are MUCH more pleasant at night.  True story.

Dear Zach,

There is no need for you to wake up in the middle of the night and insist I come into your room.  It doesn’t do either of us any good.  Please return to sleeping through the night in a timely fashion.

Dear DJ:

Ignore that previous note.  Please just DO NOT buy M&M’s.  Ever. Again.

Dear Dog:

I get that you’re still adjusting to being an “outside” dog.  It’s hard, I know.  But if you don’t stop acting out and being generally obnoxious and poorly behaved, I’m going to have to take action.  And it’s not going to be pretty.  You’ve been warned.

Dear Internets,

I’m a wee bit crabby and tired today.  In case you haven’t noticed.

Love, Kisses and a bit of a Sneer,

Happy Birthday, sweet boy.

I love you to pieces.

Today is Zach’s birthday party (his birthday is tomorrow).  We’re having it at a picnic spot at a local lake, which requires a certain amount of, um…organization.  Which is really not my fortay.  SO, I spent yesterday running around like a crazy person trying to make sure I had everything in order.  By the end of the day, I was EXHAUSTED.

So, by the time I got the boys to bed, I figured I’d go to bed as well.  Today is going to be a long day, so a good night’s sleep was sounding like a fantastic idea.

Sadly, it didn’t work out that way.  AT ALL.

9:00pm:  Go to bed, fall blissfully asleep within 3.5 seconds

9:45pm:  Awake with a start as my husband gets himself a glass of ice water.  Remind myself to ask him in the morning if he REALLY needed that ice.

9:47pm:  Remind myself to ask him in the morning why he felt it was necessary to come into the bedroom AND TURN THE TELEVISION ON.

9:48pm:  Ask him WHY HE TURNED THE TELEVISION ON.

9:49pm: Flip onto my stomach and put my hands beneath me so that I don’t strangle him when he tells me he turned the TV on because he didn’t think he’d be able to sleep yet.

9:50pm:  Resist the urge to scream “THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING STAYED IN THE LIVING ROOM, YOU INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE”

10:30pm: Awake to the dog barking at something in the backyard.  Get out of bed, yell at dog.  Hope I disturb my husband.  Lie awake for another 30 minutes going over party preparations.

12:00am: Something wakes me up.  I can’t remember what.  I realize I need to charge my camera battery.

1:45am:  Dog next door begins to bark incessantly. Remember I need to add two spatulas to the bin of party supplies.  One for burgers, one for cake.

3:00am:  Zach wakes up and yells for me.  He refuses to be ignored.  Get up, sit with him for 5 minutes.   Put him back to bed.  Go pee.

4:30am:  Hear a car start and wonder if it’s my car being stolen.  Clearly that’s the most logical explanation.  Spend the next 30 minutes thinking about when my car insurance was due and trying to remember if I paid it.

6:00am:  Wake up and  lie in bed, thinking about the crazy amount of things I need to get done before 9:00am.  Try not to dwell on the fact that my shitty night’s sleep is going to make today EXCEPTIONALLY long.

****

Tomorrow:  I’ll update you on the festivities.  Wish me luck, please!

*And you have one more day to enter the giveaway for Dora or Spongebob party supplies!

There are a few things that consume my thoughts lately.

Prepare to be scared for me*.

1.) The wildfires that surround us.

Now, don’t be alarmed, because they’re not *really* near us, in a “HOLY SHIT MY HOUSE IS GOING TO BURN DOWN” kind of way. Just a, “There’s a shitload of smoke and ash” kind of way.  And it’s the first story on the news.  But, really, there’s not a lot of new around us usually.  Unless the strawberry fields are threatened by weather.  Or fire, I suppose.  But really, we’re not worried about that right now.  Though, we DO have a lot of grapevines around, and the fire COULD potentially threaten the 2009 vintage.  Which would be totally devastating.  Because, really, 2009 has the potential to be a fantastic grape growing year (I just totally made that up, btw) and if a fire were to burn the grapevines that could compromise the local wineries…which could ultimately compromise my wine drinking capabilities.  Which COULD be devastating to…me.

What was I talking about?  Oh, right.  Fires.  Surrounding me.

Anyway, there’s one HUGE fire nearby and then another fire started today.  And because I’m a HUGE newsy-drama whore I’m generally obsessed with details when there’s a fire.  Needless to say, I’ve been obsessively taking photos of the smoke this week.

The first three are from Saturday.  The last one is from Wednesday.

These are both from Thursday.  If you look closely at the bottom one, you can see the dark plume of smoke in the center of the photo.  That’s from the new, smaller but closer, fire.

I only WISH I was joking about my obsession.  I actually spent Saturday night listening to the Santa Barbara County police and fire scanner.  I SHIT YOU NOT.  Though, in my defense, DJ was at the Dodger game and other nighttime companion was at a wedding.  So, really, it’s their fault.  I was bored.

2.)  My kid’s eyes.

Normally, this would have just said Zach’s eyes.  But OH NO.  Things had to go and get interesting.  And now, after independent confirmation by a second and third party (DJ and his mom), it’s been confirmed that Dylan’s eye does indeed turn in.  A little.  I leave you to draw your own conclusions.

Now I’m off to go catch up on the news reports and try to learn as much as is humanly possible about having a 4 1/2 year old who might possibly, maybe, potentially have a slight cross to one of his eyes.  Since right now I only know anything about a 1 or 2 year old with a major cross in both of his eyes.  Total difference there.  Total.

ACK!

Zach’s birthday is on Monday, his party is this Sunday*, my mom’s coming into town tomorrow and my house is a disaster.

Also?  I have a mother fucking flea infestation.  FLEAS.  So, instead of hanging out at home today cleaning, I have to leave for at least two hours while my pest guy comes and sprays the outside AND inside of my house.  And when I get home?  I have to wash all the bedding and towels and then give the dog and cat each a flea bath.  WHOO HOO.   And PLEASE don’t give me a lecture on pesticides and my house and yadda yadda yadda.  I tried the natural “rememdies” and they didn’t work.

Oh, AND!  There’s a fire nearby that makes it seem like the world is ending thanks to the smoke from 30,000 burnt acres of vegetation and I have a headache.

I just KNOW you wish you were me right now.  I really know you don’t wish you were WITH me right now.  :0)

*Head over to Aiming Log and enter my giveaway for Spongebob and Dora Birthday supplies.  Pretty please?

The saga of the strabismus surgery continues.

(Commence rambling…)

It was almost exactly a year ago that we found out Zach would need glasses.  It was in May that we found out he’d need surgery to correct the muscle position in his eyes.

He had that surgery at the end of June (you’re all like “Well tell us something we DON’T ALREADY KNOW!”).

SO…yesterday we went back for a follow up visit and there’s STILL a slight turn in his eye.  Hence, we’ve been warned that another surgery is in the likely.  I shit you not.

His Doctor, Dr. Ocular as he shall henceforth be known, said we should bring him back in three months for another check “of the cross” and we’d go from there about scheduling the surgery.

My mind?  IMMEDIATELY started doing the math.  The FINANCIAL math.  Two surgeries in one year…could be pricey.  Which is precisely why we put off the surgery on Dylan’s trigger thumb.  I’m not even sure I’ve ever even told all y’all about THAT.  That’s another story for another time…

Anyway, if we go back in three months, that will put us at the beginning of November (holy fuck, right? NOVEMBER).  If it’s decided at that point that surgery is necessary, we’ll have to get around Holiday schedules which will put us into January probably.

Because of his previous eye surgery, we’ve already met our deductible for the year, SO if we can get the surgery done before 12/31, we don’t have to pay for it.  Or, we don’t have to pay A LOT for it, anyway.

I explained it to Dr. Ocular, who was having an off day.  It took him a few minutes to “get” what I was saying. He said he’d see him again in 2 months, so if we do need to schedule another surgery we can get it in by the end of the year.

Then he offered Zach a sticker as a thank you to DYLAN for helping him during the exam.  That DID NOT go over well.  Like I said, OFF DAY.

So, to sum it up, we might be scheduling Zach for another strabismus surgery.  AND, Dylan has his very own appointment with Dr. Ocular for next week, because I have a sneaking suspicion that there’s something wonky with his eyes as well.

Also?  OH MY GAH, ANOTHER FREAKING SURGERY.

All I can say is…EYE YAI YAI.