Sometimes Life Gets In The Way
I know you’re all excitedly awaiting my BlogHer post, and I promise that it’s coming. But we’ve had a new development today in the life of the G-wine Posse and it’s taking up all of my brain space right now. Except for the part of my brain that’s thinking “Holy shit, it’s only 11:30 in the morning and I’m ready for a fucking huge drink.” But that’s related to this new development, so, I guess technically it is ALL about Baby Zach.
Some background: When I got to Grandmaother’s on Sunday I was watching him crawl around, and occasionally when he would look at me it would seem as though one of his eyes was turning in, other times it would look like they were starting to cross. And, of course, being the rational person that I am, I totally freaked out and convinced myself that there was something horribly wrong with him. Grandmaother concurred that there was something strange going on with his eyes, but assured me that he had not been dropped on his head while on her watch.
This is what I was seeing:
So first thing Monday morning, I logged onto Infantsee.org and scheduled a free eye exam for him. (If you’re not already aware, Infantsee is a program that offers free eye exams to children between the ages of 6 & 12 months. The thought being that if there IS in fact a vision problem, if it’s caught early enough it will be less likely to cause lifelong problems.) Luckily, there was a local Doctor who had an available appointment this morning. So, I packed the boys up and drove over there. At first the Doctor didn’t see what I was talking about. And he was nicely telling me that occasionally if they can’t focus on something right away their eyes will cross or blah blah blah…but then he saw it too.
So he put drops in his eyes to dilate them and spent the next 30 minutes trying desperately to get Zach to cooperate and look patiently at the light he was shining in his eyes while putting an array of lenses in front of him. Zach would have NONE of it. So we’re going back on Thursday with a rested and happy baby and the Doctor is going to purchase a TV with a DVD player so Zach can watch some cartoons while he’s being examined. From what he could tell, Zach is INCREDIBLY farsighted and will require glasses with a REALLY THICK lens to correct it. I put the stress on “really thick” because that’s how the Dr. said it to me. And now all I can picture is this:
*Courtesy of Google Images
And I know that in the grand scheme of things this is stupid and little and totally not important. That there are parents out there who would KILL to trade places with me. I know that it’s petty and shallow, but I keep thinking about his beautiful blue eyes and that they’re going to have to be hidden behind super thick lenses and it kills me. It makes me sad to think that for some time now (who knows how long?!) he hasn’t been able to see things clearly. That the close up world is blurry to him. I feel as though I’ve somehow failed him. And I know that there’s nothing I could have done about it. And by finding out now and taking care of it we’re helping him in the long run. But…
Anyhow, I’ve got a call in to my Family Doctor so I can get his opinion and I’m most likely going to get an appointment with a pediatric ophthalmologist to get another opinion. Because, you know, if I’m going to take advantage of his health insurance, I’m REALLY going to take advantage of it!
So my beautiful, sweet, funny, outgoing, active little boy will look like this now:
Or this, if I go with the blue ones:
And I will love his just as dearly. Maybe even a little bit more.
And YOU will love him just as dearly, or maybe even a bit more, when you see him “blow” kisses. And yes, it does look like he’s giving a big “F-You” but I assure you he’s not. I think.
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